It is Not About You

It is Not About You

You have a big mission. You are called to dp some amazing work and helping the people you are supposed to help.  At times that can feel very cool.  At other times it can feel like sort of like a burden.  

Following is what I see happening all the time for a lot of entrepreneurs:

  1. You get the soul knowing that you are supposed to do some great work.
  2. You start your business with low rates, being really vague about what you do because you want to serve everyone.
  3. You cannot figure out why your marketing is not working to allow you to be making all the money you want.
  4. You are ready to throw in the towel. But your soul will not allow you so you may feel trapped.
  5. You somewhat know what you would love to say and teach; however, there is a little niggling part inside that is afraid that if you out that, you will be killed. (Okay, not killed, but surely judged and/or ostracized.)
  6. You get into crazy mindset jumbles when you think about being the expert in this area. All kinds of judgments come forth about what may happen and how your credibility may even be called into play.
  7. You are stuck in that zone between wanting to stay safe, but yearning to play big.
  8. You need help!

Does any of the above sound familiar?  

I have a very simple formula that gets you on tract to help those folks that you are designed to help:


As I see it, the issues peole have with visibility, messaging, charging more and selling their services come because they put the focus on themselves. These show up as statements like:

"How can I raise my rates… can I really deliver what I say I can?"

"Do I have enough experience?"

"What if someone is better at this than I am?"

"I think I need to get a (degree, license, certification) before I put this out there."

Notice the emphasis–very focused on YOU.  

Sit down in your favorite chair and imagine your perfect client.  The one you would love to have and for whom you would be a great fit.  Now imagine them in enormous pain. Like maybe a gun to their head.  Or despair so great they are lost, on the verge of giving up or self-destructing.

Perhaps your clients are not putting guns to their heads, but they are suffering. Think of all the ways they are suffering. It could look like losing money, losing hope, staying in bad relationships, or enduring poor health. Now think of what that suffering is costing them. Think of it in terms of the money/tangible piece, but also the intangible pieces they have to deal with.  These people are just waiting for you to put yourself out in a way that they can find them.  But your focus on YOU is preventing them from getting the help they need.

Allow yourself to really feel into the despair and need your clients have. Open your heart and feel the solution you provide for turning their lives around. See them happy and productive and living a much better life.

Now focus on how afraid you are to step into the spotlight and claim your space as an expert.  Notice how small and actually neurotic that feels in comparison to the previous thoughts of your desire to serve.

Shifting the focus from you to them is the most important thing that can allow you to be so mission driven that you are willing to be a little uncomfortable to be found and seen in the market place.

Give it a try and come back to tell me how it changed things for you.



About Online Biz Boomer Babe

Rachel Lavern is a Certified Business Coach and founder of My Booming Online Business--a blog for middle-age, global, uptown women. She is on a mission to transform entrepreneurs' finances by teaching the action set, mindset and skill set needed to get launched + make money.


  1. I like the way you’ve turned it around so that the service offered has value, and the financial aspect is depersonalized.

  2. Andrew Richard :

    Nice one. Have always believed my online strategy depends on how good I am. Thanks for the tip

  3. Thanks for sharing this. I loved all your ideas and thoughts. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say.

  4. Oh what a motivating post. I couldn’t agree with you more. It really is about those we are serving and helping. Afterall, just being genuine, authentic and then delving into a place to help those who believe in you is an amazing thing. Once you turn the mindset to believe that its about the customer, your business will flourish. The reason for this…because it is the truth. It IS about the customer. Amazingly motivational post. Thanks so much.

    Irish Carter recently posted…Get Motivated:  Let Go! Have More!My Profile

  5. Very Sound advice Rachel!

    It is extremely easy to take our focus of the all important customer and or client.
    And as a result, find ourselves over analyzing and over scrutinizing and ultimately
    questioning the value we are able to deliver.

    Thanks for reminding us and where our real focus needs to be!
    Mark recently posted…So How Would You Build A Really Big Mailing List On Just $20 Dollars A Day!My Profile

  6. Hi Rachel,

    Great advice as usual. No it is not about us but rather it is about “them.” I like the way you taught people how to sit there in their favorite chair and think about this. Allowing yourself to feel your clients despair is the trick! Once we can acknowledge that and really feel it in our soul, it will prompt us to lend a hand. We can do this via a blog post, or product…. Whatever it is, we must think of others first.
    When we do, then we can come up with answers to their problems. Sometimes we do forget how we struggled in the beginning of our journey. Nothing is too small to solve someone’s problem.

    Thanks for this lovely post.

    donna merrill recently posted…Build Your BrandMy Profile

  7. You have some great advice here. You cannot make the money you want if you constantly have a mindset that is centered around you. Once your mindset focuses on the person you are working with and truly focusing on what will make their life better, then you will achieve all of the goals that you have set. If coaching or mentoring is your main goal, then you are able to coach anyone that you have more experience than or more knowledge than in a specific area. The price of your coaching may be very low if you cannot offer a lot, but you are still coaching and making money at it either way! Thank you for sharing this.
    Kyle Holcomb recently posted…MLSP ReviewMy Profile

  8. Rachel,

    it is not about YOU, most of the time. Everyone is more interested in What’s in it for them. So when we focus on what our customers and clients want and need and are longing for, and we provide the solutions, voila! It is a win-win.

    Dr. Erica
    Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted…Love, Touch, Sex and RecoveryMy Profile